is advice that changes the giver just as much as the receiver.
It all started with a simple facebook status thrown out by a friend; 'I want to run faster, what are your tips?" I didn't consider myself the vessel of any particularly great speed-inducing tips, instead I was interested to see the tips she would get that I could implement in order to help my own legs be a little more hare and a little less turtle. And then I got tagged. So I left some advice, just a couple lines; 'here's what I do' coupled with the disclaimer that I'm a running enthusiast, not a running expert.
Six hours later, I returned to the post to find a multitude of comments from others- profile pictures revealed runners with marathon medals, a cross country coach and a runner with a 5:25 1 mile PR. Cool beans, we're talking hard core runners dishing out tips to get faster. Happy smile, because running makes me happy, and interacting with other runners make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Scrolling through the comments, it only took a minute for my inner fuzzy-bunny to morph in a prickly cactus. Comment after comment with an identical tid-bit of advice........exactly the opposite of what I'd suggested.
Awkward turtle.
We've all given advice before. Solicited, unsolicited, heeded and unheeded. The occasion when we give someone advice that we know isn't beneficial is pretty rare............we've all had a "Rachel encourages Ross' girlfriend to shave her head moment"........but they are the exception, not the rule. Advice can be a tool to help others grow, but 9 times out of 10, we can grow from it too.
One of the greatest moments for personal growth that we will ever encounter is the opportunity to say "I was wrong". It's about as fun as getting dental work done, doing a burpee mile or watching the Cowboys play; but it's a springboard for more.
There is zero shame in being wrong-- the shame comes from knowing you are wrong and refusing to acknowledge it. Don't be afraid to admit that you are wrong. If we can realize that we are wrong, we have the opportunity to change. Once we acknowledge it; we can put it into past tense and start fresh .
"I was wrong" is a whole lot easier to say than "I am wrong."
When was the last time you gave advice?
What is the best advice you've ever been given?
Leave me some good advice!
AH sometimes admitting I was wrong is VERY hard, but I have gotten so much better at it! I also think everyone is different and what works for one person, doesn't always work for another! I'm sure your advice wasn't terrible, and it may even work for YOU!
ReplyDeleteWhat was your advice, and how can it be wrong, if it works for you? Maybe you shouldn't look at it as being wrong, just different!
ReplyDeleteI give advice all the time to the girls in my youth group. They all like my sons, and my advice to them is STAY AWAY. :)
I don't think your advice was wrong just because it was different from everyone elses. Some things work best for some people, and some work best for others, especially with running/exercise, so don't worry! also, the best advice I was given was 'take chances, you only live once'. So that's why I quit my job and moved abroad, and then that's why I moved home again!
ReplyDeleteFacebook drives me nuts sometimes!! I bet your advice was good.. I hope you didn't stress too long over it, because it is clear you care for her.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your advice was okay. Your friend can take in all the advice and figure out what she wants to do, right? haha. That's totally happened to me before, though.
ReplyDelete